As this is the culmination of the story, I want to begin this with ‘Reader, I married him’. But as a) that would be a lie, b) I’m not quite sure who ‘he’ is and c) it is entirely unrelated … Continue reading Fear Part Two: Doing The Really Unexpected
Have you ever felt afraid? What are you scared of? I’ve generally been a bit of a worrier. But the real deal? Only a few times in my life have I been utterly terrified. There are a few things I’m … Continue reading Fear Part One: Doing The Unexpected
When I was younger I remember a few friends having this poster from The Shawshank Redemption in their homes. If you haven’t seen it, it is the story of a group of prisoners. The tag line is that Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free. I watched Comic Relief this year and was struck by one story in particular. The women in this story had lost their husbands in the Rwandan genocide, and had themselves been attacked and left with HIV. In 2001 they were preparing for their deaths, worried about how their young children would cope … Continue reading A tiny word, a huge impact.
“Could I talk to you about something?” I think this is one of the worst sentences ever created. It’s a close run thing with, “Do you have time for a chat?” and “When you have a minute, can I talk to you?” They’re often followed by “But it’s nothing urgent, don’t worry.” Don’t worry? Don’t worry?? Now all I’m doing is worrying. Of course if it’s not followed by that sentence then you can amplify the worry by several sweaty palm moments and a heart racing like the Epsom Derby. My mind speeds through the options. Have I said something … Continue reading Taking (too much) responsibility
We begin with a timely and thought-provoking question.
What do you want to achieve this year?
This year, and the previous several years in fact, I have wanted to write more.
I love writing. I love the process and the editing. I love picking the right words to go into the sentence, and sometimes, because I am really determined to get it right (aka sad), I get out a thesaurus – the real book version, not the Word one – and find that perfect term. Believe it or not, this does actually bring me happiness. It’s the same reason I will happily sit down to read my brother’s 20,000 word dissertation in the evening when it’s due in the morning, or pick over someone else’s essay several times to get the word count down. It doesn’t really matter what it is, I just love writing.
So what has held me back from sharing my writing and taking action on this long held dream?
Up until this year, one of the main reasons was fear.
Fear of what other people would think of my writing.
Fear they would think it wasn’t good enough.
Fear of what they would then think of me for assuming it was.
Fear that really, deep down, I wasn’t good enough to be a writer.
And so I avoided it. I occasionally wrote something. I entered competitions and sometimes they liked what I’d written. Still it wasn’t enough confirmation.
However, what I realised in 2013 gave me the confidence to start writing again – and more importantly, to let people read it:
Continue reading “Dr Pepper and Captain Jack”
the entirety of life 