…where you water it.
The grass is greener where you look after it, make the most of it, and nurture it. Yet often it appears to be greener on the other side of the fence. I recently wrote an article for International Women’s Day about envy v encouragement, and it brought this idea finally to the fore: it’s been something I’ve mulled over for years. The idea of ‘Where The Grass Is Greener’ is to be frank, honest and authentic about the joys and hardships of different life stages, ages and experiences. I am obviously not able to write all of these myself, so it’s going to be an exciting guest blog series. There are a couple of amazing writers lined up already, but if you know of anyone who’d like to write a guest blog, or you’d like to write one yourself, do get in touch on The Entirety of Life Facebook page, the email address on the About Me page, or leave a comment below.
But what’s the point of it?
“Envy rather than encouragement and equality is all too easy. She has children. She has a career. She’s higher up the career ladder. She’s married. She’s single. She owns a house. She’s travelling. Her children are so well behaved. She’s a leader. She’s always beautifully coordinated. How often have you compared yourself to another? Maybe you’re the same age, from the same university course or NCT group. It’s an easy trap to fall into, and one that does little for our opportunity to respect and value difference.” These comparisons don’t only apply to women – they apply to men too, and it would be fascinating to hear male perspectives on this subject too.
At the Threadsuk recent #GirlBoss event I heard jealousy described as showing you what you want; you have to chose to set aside the envy element, in order to let it focus your attention on what you want to achieve. I recently experienced website envy – but this comment challenged me to look at improving my own site, rather than simply being grumpy because mine didn’t look as good as their’s. You may feel this still needs work, and I’d agree – any help welcome!
Jealousy and envy are two emotions that are hard to control. They are a desire to have what someone else does, or a feeling of being discontent in your own life when you see what someone else has. It could be how things seem to simply happen for them, or their beautiful possessions (even if they come from charity shops, perhaps even more so as we’re envious of their eye for a bargain), or perhaps it’s just a character trait you envy in them. Of course these are probably hard won things, through work, hard situations or commitment to an endeavour, but it’s easy to miss that when we’re not living that life.
“There is always room to envy and covet what we don’t have. No lifestyle choice is better. No one has all the elements of their life perfectly nailed down. But for all that I don’t have, there are many blessings available to me in my life that others may not have access to. They may be living parts of my dream, but perhaps I’m also living parts of theirs?”
It is so easy to think that someone else has it easy – that the grass is greener. We can be convinced that once our dreams are realised our lives will be somehow better, more fulfilled, complete. Yet “each lifestyle has blessings and hardships and disappointments and unexpected joys, but still we compare and covet.”
The aim of this series to celebrate the great parts of life, and to confront the myths and challenges too. I hope it’s a series you enjoy, that gives greater insights, challenges, comforts and inspires, and I look forward to the words of wisdom from the guests blogs.