I started this blog post exactly 293 days ago (apparently, thank you WordPress), but I couldn’t put it into words, which was not all that handy for a blog post…
But I’ve long had a particular struggle with New Year. Aside from the overwhelming urge to go to sleep at round 11:14 (only 46 minutes to go…), despite my usual bedtime being in the vicinity of 12pm anyway, the TV programming that is never entertaining enough for me, and the anti-climax at 12:11 once the fireworks are ended, there’s a key element I don’t like.
‘Ooh, what’s going to happen this year?’
I don’t know!
I don’t like not knowing!
To my mind there is only an enormous sense of trepidation, combined with a dread of all the horrendous things that could happen. What if, what if, what if? My brain goes into overdrive and maybe I’m better off getting an early night.
But if the past few years have taught me anything, it’s that you can never know what will happen, not happen, or turn out differently. You can never plan for the year ahead in the way you might like, although intentions and dreams are worthy and useful.
That not knowing, and the stretch of 365 days of unknowing is incredibly disconcerting. But as someone wisely said, each day has enough troubles of its own. So don’t borrow the troubles from December before January has begun!
Before everyone I’m spending this New Year with reads this with horror at the party pooper I may be, I have begun to embrace New Year. I love a party for a start. I can believe that something good and exciting might happen in 2016. I can find something pleasant and enjoyable in each day, even in the third week of January (hopefully). I can think of things I might do, and imagine that there might be other opportunities awaiting me.
So while I don’t know what will happen this year, I can remember those good times, the people I’ve met, and the experiences I’d never have dreamt of, both good and bad. And I’ll look forward to next year, a year of
possibility, and the partying seeing in the New Year brings.
Happy New Year!